🔗 Share this article

“Well, the situation is pretty dire here. The guidance we offer all of our clients to commit their entire holdings into tinned provisions and hunting rifles.” This nugget of wise counsel comes from the Brain Gremlin – a scientifically altered, talking, glasses-wearing member of the oozy monster mob that overruns Manhattan’s ultra-modern Clamp Tower skyscraper in filmmaker Joe Dante’s unhinged continuation Gremlins 2: The New Batch. At first glance, it’s merely an financial suggestion from one monster to another. Yet, in a strange manner, it’s also pretty solid life guidance. Honestly, hear me out.

When things go bad, the worst thing you can do is approach matters with excessive gravity. The Brain Gremlin understands this. Indeed, the majority of the toothy monsters that populate Dante’s wild 1990 film (debateably his greatest) possess the same sly, self-aware comic sensibility regarding the hazy boundary separating daily routine and unadulterated chaos. It’s a single component of Gremlins 2: The New Batch that keeps me coming back – and as I age, it’s the message that echoes the loudest.

An Early Life Obsession

Of course, my connection with this movie didn’t start on such an deeply thoughtful note. Growing up, we possessed merely a few well-worn videocassettes at home. Included within that collection were Gremlins and its follow-up, the latter housed in a chunky ex-rental box almost certainly acquired from an off-brand video shop and boasting snarling creatures on its worn-out artwork. I was immediately enamoured and these films quickly proceeded lodging themselves inside my young, susceptible psyche. Henceforth, they became an near-everyday part of my youthful watching schedule.

Dante’s original typically gets all the plaudits, thanks largely to its reputation as a moderately spooky festive favorite – and don’t get me wrong, I’ve watched Gremlins more times than I can count. Nevertheless, its sequel seldom receives the same level of high regard, which feels unjust. As a kid, I’d never miss an opportunity to watch Gremlins 2. During bright summer vacations, I’d retreat into the house and play it. When I obtained my very own TV-VHS combo unit, it remained on repeat in my bedroom. With repetition, it etched itself permanently in my psyche. If my parents observed this fixation, they gave no indication of concern.

Hidden Rewards and Cultural Nuggets

As I matured, new insights enhanced frequent screenings, amplifying the pleasure of watching small emerald creatures happily vandalize a New York high-rise. I learned the future-focused property magnate and Clamp Tower owner, Daniel Clamp (John Glover), was based squarely upon the eventual commander-in-chief Donald Trump, with his red-headed employee Marla (Haviland Morris) referencing his one-time partner Marla Maples. Luckily, Clamp demonstrates more humanity than his real-life counterpart.

The “end of civilisation” video Clamp plays during peak-Gremlin chaos? I discovered it was based on a real-life “Doomsday” video created by the CNN boss Ted Turner should the world really ended. I noticed how Dante went out of his way to film varying versions of a meta sequence where Gremlins take over the actual feature in progress. A version for theaters, another for home video and television, each providing a grinning portion of self-referential entertainment sorcery prior to the concept being mainstream.

A Lasting Appeal

While it was makeup maestro Rick Baker’s wonderfully grotesque creatures that drew my gaze as a child, this deeper gold maintained my fascination as an adult. Eventually, I even interviewed Dante about it myself and he had no hesitation revealing to me he made the movie with the direct intention of ridiculing those who loved its absurd-yet-genuine predecessor and craved further installments. “We were going to make fun of the fact you came to see it,” he cheerfully disclosed. This cartoonish insubordination and resolve to not take his sequel as solemnly as his Warner Bros bosses evidently expected, only increased my affection for it.

When I experienced a unexpected loss in the family recently, I was taken aback to discover that, during my deepest grief, all I wanted to do was sit and watch Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Strange, isn’t it? Possibly not. The comforting familiarity it offered was essential to dilute my mind’s grief morass – but the stuff it had given me as an adult were equally valuable.

Like Gremlins running amok in a genetics laboratory, there’s some things in life you just can’t control. Dante understands this. The Brain Gremlin shares this wisdom. Sometimes, you have to follow their example: embrace the chaos, invest all your resources into tinned provisions and hunting rifles and try not to take things too seriously.

It’s powerful existential guidance from a highly unexpected fountain – and it’s why Gremlins 2: The New Batch will always be my go-to cinematic solace.